Friday, April 3, 2009

Strange week for Alaska's Governor (A quiet week, if you ask her)

Stims, Dems and WAR, Oh my!

Sarah Palin is still holding out on not accepting 100% of the Stimulus funds offered to Alaska. Everyone knows by now that the portion of the Stim that she was most opposed to would go towards education. I still don't know how we are going to accomplish the "shovel ready" projects that she is accepting stimulus funds for unless we have an educated work force to man the "shovels". Forest, trees? She can't see either the forest OR the trees.

Dems, pesky bee in her bonnet! She found herself a brand new shiny Dem to fill Kim Elton's vacated Juneau Senate seat, the one he left to go work for Obama. Her choice to fill the seat was Tim Grussendorf. She found him all on her very own and offered him up to the Alaska Democratic Senate members for approval. "Looky here guys, I have Democratic friends too, so there ya go." Problem was, Tim Grussendorf, her choice to fill the vacant Senate seat had only been a Dem for a few weeks. He, like totally, accidentally became a Republican a few years ago when voting absentee or in a Republican primary, or something like that, and chose not to correct his party affiliation until two weeks ago, when he was offered a position that had certain requirements attached to it, specifically that he be a DEMOCRAT! Our Governor is now pissed off and wants the entire process to be changed so that she can have her "magical Democrat friend" get the job he deserves. (please excuse my 15 year old gossip girl commentary above; couldn't help myself)

Because she didn't get her way she's also questioning the process that led to Grussendorf not getting approved. Namely, the same process that allowed her to fill a vacancy in the Alaska House with her Republican friend and churchy bud, Wes Keller. I guess if the process gets the desired result it should not be questioned. If the results are less than satisfactory, certainly the process should be questioned. It was questioned before; the Governor made us aware of this in a press release yesterday. I guess if the process doesn't work, then perhaps it was less than fair at all points at which it was employed and all Senators or Representatives that were appointed by this process should all just step down and we'll do a "do-over".......

Speaking of "do-overs", our Governor thinks it would be a good idea for our US Senator Mark Begich to step down and agree to a "do-over" of this fall's election since Ted Stevens had his ethics trial tossed out of Federal Court. She and the other "koolaid" drinking crazies believe that Begich only won the election because Ted was on trial. They neglect to mention that the courts did not find Stevens innocent of any wrong doing, they basically decided to drop the matter because of a technicality. This dismissal in no way says that Ted is innocent of all charges, merely that the performance of the legal system was not up to it's usual standards. Perhaps Sarah doesn't want Ted to have his seat back in the Senate, perhaps she would like to run.

Guess she perhaps saw God opening another door and put a doorstop in it for future reference. God opens so many doors for this woman that smart people should be buying stock in doorstops! This would be certainly a recession proof investment if God keeps being a gentleman and opening doors for Mrs. Palin! Provided that she can keep the "witches" from showing back up. A monthly appointment with the African "witchdoctor" Thomas Muthee could be considered. Maybe she should change her hair; a lot of witches could hide in that "updo". Better yet, perhaps she can even get the state to pay for it. Can you expense "witch removal"? Just get rid of them, we don't want no witches in our Governor, no way, no how! (There was a great piece from Bruce Wilson on HuffPo a few days ago regarding the Gov's religious leanings. Great read, go get it!)

WAR, Wayne Anthony Ross. Governor Palin's new pick for Attorney General of the State of Alaska. Loves the NRA, hates queers, drives a big ass Hummer with vanity plates, wears camo, thinks big game hunters should get more rights than the Native Alaskans that use game for sustenance, not just as heads on walls....get the picture yet? The Legislature still has to approve him but he's already hard at work down in Juneau, presumably writing press releases for the Governor as she talked about some legal stuff in her last press release. She's never been one to talk about legal stuff before, like when Katie Couric asked her to name some important Supreme Court cases that had relevance to her or to our state. Sarah had nothing. No court cases she could quote, no newspapers or even magazines that she could say that she reads. Good that Palin has a mouthpiece that actually knows something and can help her PR team put some "legally" things in her press releases, bad that his credentials are so far to the right. If the powers that be don't approve WAR's appointment, I guess Sarah and WAR will just have to go shoot something so that they can get over it. That means more homecooked meals for the mainstream media; more mooseburgers, moose hot dogs, and moose chili for Matt Lauer, Jon Ziegler and Greta Van Susteren and her hubby John Coale. Did she feed Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric too? I can't remember, perhaps she didn't and that was why they were so hard on her! A little moose meat goes a long way towards forging friendly relationships with the media.

I think there is a big pissing contest going on: Sarah Palin vs. the Legislature. The last card in her hand is the stimulus money. Today is the deadline for accepting it. She is probably not going to accept it unless she can have the assurance from a majority of the Legislature that they will accept WAR for Attorney General.

If Sarah can have WAR, then the State of Alaska can have 100% of it's share in the wealth of the national stimulus plan. No WAR, no dollars. (Hands on hips frowny face, from Sarah Palin, that is. Progressive Alaska blog has a great photo of her that they use frequently that shows her looking frowny and unhappy, sullen, not sultry....all of you 50-60 somethings that think she is hot can just go watch "Nailin' Palin. Those Russians are really randy!)

THEN, Mt. Redoubt has the audacity to blow at least every 36 hours since 3/22, threatening to destroy or flood a Chevron tank farm at it's base. It only has over 1/2 the amount of oil that the Exxon Valdez spilled. Any comments? Nope, not in her "quiet week".

SO TOO ALSO, (not my words, you know who is famous for that string of words), a big "frufrah" has ended up going down regarding the Republican House/Senate fundraising dinner in June and whether or not our Governor would speak at this function. She says that she never confirmed, function organizers said she did and called her a "disaster". They picked Newt Gingrich to speak instead. The organizers called him "a leader" and a "great speaker". They didn't bother to call Sarah Palin to tell her they'd hired Newt. She had to find out just like the rest of us, by reading the Huffington Post! Just kidding, it was on Fox News first. They're eating their own over there....


The icing on the Governor's weekly cake is that Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's "baby daddy" has filmed an episode of Tyra Banks, to air on Monday 4/6. His sister and mother are there with him. There is a preview on the Tyra website. He talks about what is involved when teens get pregnant. Should be enlightening. I always wondered how teens managed to produce offspring. Levi is going to tell us, stay tuned! Sounds like it might have happened right under the Governor's nose, right under the roof of the Palin home! Guess she thought that kids wearing "purity rings" could just sleep together as good friends, ya know "besties" as they call each other now. Guess God was there to open some doors for Bristol and Levi too. You just never know where He will be or what doors He will open. Teens, beware......

Oh, another not to miss moment in the Governor's week, the first Dude, Todd Palin, will have an article in the May issue of Esquire magazine. A very odd video promo came out this week as a teaser. Google it, you'll find it. You'll also wonder if it was an "April Fool's" joke. It wasn't.

The Dud also did an article for Men's Journal. Google also, wow, he's such a Dude!

The last bit of irony in all of this is that the Governor said that it's been a quiet week for her. Hmmm, makes you wonder what a CRAZY week is like for her.....

I'm not linking any info to specific sites right now, you can either trust me, google stuff, or check out the blogroll on my website. Those folks have done all of the hard work; I'm just doing a funny post about it all.

Peace out everyone and have a great weekend.

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