Monday, February 2, 2009

On Sarah Palin and Shoes

Sarah Palin wearing Boots that we can't wear in the winter in Alaska without hurting ourselves

I've finally found a common ground with Sarah Palin. SHOES!! This woman loves herself some shoes! Hell, someone even paid over $2000 for her used red patent leather buckle pumps on EBay! Well, the person who spent that money probably has his or her own reasons for purchasing a $90 pair of shoes for $2000. That person probably has a disorder that is much more psychologically complex than just a love of shoes. I hope that there is a party going on somewhere where lecherous foot fetishists are getting together to drink cheap champagne from Sarah Palin's Naughty Monkey pumps. They are open-toed pumps so I would recommend duct taping the toes shut so that the champagne stays put. Duct tape is an old Alaskan remedy for all sorts of problems and if you just paid $2000 for Sarah Palin's old shoes, well, you should know that. She is "duct tape" personified....

Anway, back to the link of her in those damn boots!
Damn her eyes, I mean, Damn her feet! Damn her for traveling to warmer ice free climes for no better reason than to wear those awesome boots without risking life or limb. Well, she was going there to "pal around with the Elite Washington types" that she really didn't like a few months ago, but now we know the TRUTH. She goes to warmer places so she can wear cool shoes without breaking a leg!

All is now forgiven Sarah Palin. I forgive you for forsaking our state in your recent 3 month quest for national stardom. I forgive you for being uniformed and making a mockery of all Alaskans during your battle with the "gotcha liberal media". I now understand why you don't want to be in Alaska. You want to wear AWESOME shoes and boots without risking your bones!

But Wait (looking thoughtful and putting my index finger to my cheek)
Sarah Palin did film that video on icy the icy streets of Juneau last spring in some really cute spike heeled boots. Mere mortals would have ended up with perhaps one, but probably two seriously sprained ankles running around like she did on those icy streets in stilettos. There's more. She had 4 inch heels on in the Turkey Slaughter video, in the snow and ice and chilly wind. Very brave shoe choices indeed. Sarah Palin, I applaud your shoe heroics here on the icy streets of Alaska.

I thought that Sarah Palin wanted to go to DC because she could exercise more "shoe freedom" there. Now I'm not sure why she wants to go. I'm going to have to do some more research. Could it be that life and politics is really about more than just shoes?

An historical note:
The model name of Sarah Palin's open toed Naughty Monkey pumps (that sold on EBay for $2000+) is called "Double Dare" (god lets all hope that she doesn't see fit to go there...McCain dared her once, and she actually accepted!).

Other styles that she could fit in her shoe closet are called "Colorful Talk" (that works well for her, she can toss them up with her "word salads"), "Animal Thunder" (what she wears when she sends people out to shoot wolves from helicopters), "Cut Like a Blade" (trust your ears on that one) and there's even a "Romance in Paris" shoe (which she wears when speaking to French President Sarkozy, or at least someone who sounds french who really might be Sarkozy...or NOT)

Ahh, it's the shoes that matter and the Naughty Monkey brand seems to have a style to fit every Palin occasion!
Now if they could only develop the "Bush Doctrine Sling Back" and the "What do you Read Open Toed Pump" Sarah might have shoe for every occasion.


  1. hey! there is so much to talk about. I like good shoes too, but now I am afraid to wear them in case someone thinks I am emulating.

    We need to get together and talk about this!

  2. Hello! Hopefully this time you can get my profile when I post.

    have fun,